Saturday, April 02, 2011

Suaimhneas Síoraí, Barb

Today, the world lost a beautiful lady. And while I'm deeply saddened that I won't be seeing her around here anymore, my soul is singing for joy that it won't be long till I'm seeing her around Heaven.
Barbara was amazing! She was a school teacher for many years, already retired by the time I got to know her. I don't remember the first time I met her but there was a pretty cool story behind why I met her.
I was raised Southern Baptist. The only time I set foot in a Methodist church was to get married because, at the time, I didn't have a church home. But I soon found a Baptist church to join, and that's where Mike and I raised our children. Then, quite unexpectedly, things turned miserable. Going to church became an unwelcome chore. God was clearly calling me away from there. Since I had nowhere else to go, I went with Mike to his parents' church, a Methodist church, and fought tooth and nail against joining. "I'm a Baptist. I've always been a Baptist. No way I'm joining a Methodist church." But God kept tugging on my heart until my stubbornness gave way and I was ready to listen. It took a lot of getting used to, particularly with a lady pastor, but I grew to love it more and more until I had no more doubts about joining up. Barb was choir director there so I knew of her, and waved or said hello to her on occasion, but had never really met her.
Inside of a year, my health took a drastic downward turn. I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. And then undiagnosed. And then diagnosed again. And on and on the cycle went until I was at the brink of losing my mind! That's when Barbara stepped in. She had had MS for twenty years. She had already been through exactly what I was going through, and she took me right under her wing without so much as a second thought.
The reason I had been led to the Methodist faith had been revealed. God knew what I'd need down the road a whole year in advance, and he set me up for it.
Barb saw me through many many years of the uncertainty of declining health, the most frightening time of my life. Even when I was finally diagnosed as having had several strokes, not MS, I was still having the same kinds of neurological symptoms and I'd still be running to her when it got too tough to handle.
I learned a lot from Barb. Perhaps it was because she was a teacher, but I think more likely it was because she was a Christian. She taught me how to pray when I couldn't find any words. I learned how to use Jesus's strength when I had none of my own. But what I think was most important, was that it's okay to cry and get depressed as long as it doesn't last very long. She'd let me cry and whine awhile, and then said, just like a stern teacher, "All right, that's enough. Now straighten up and go wash your face, and get back to doing what needs to be done." She encouraged me, counseled me, and most of all, she loved me. And now, I hope I have the opportunity someday to carry over that blessing to someone else.
I haven't cried yet. I just can't. Barb is free now. No more illness, no more struggle, and no more sadness. And, being well into my fifties, I'm more and more aware that I'll be seeing her very soon, perhaps sooner than I expect.
Rest peacefully, my dear friend. I'll always keep you in my heart and in my memories.