It seems halfway into my fiftieth year on this planet that I've entered some sort of transition, and I don't think it's that menopause thing I've heard so much about. This is really weird and totally out of my character!
It all started with my volunteer work at the hospital a few weeks ago, where it's one of my jobs to inventory, restock, and order candy for the Gift Shop. One of the volunteers had put a heavy candy box on top of the Snickers box, and one bar was squished to the point where it couldn't be sold. Being my job to dispose of it properly, I tore it open and, despite my greatest effort to toss it, the whole 280 calorie bar with 14 grams of fat went right into my tummy before I knew it. With every bite my guilt grew and festered until I was thoroughly disgusted with myself. But now I wonder if that wasn't one of the best things that ever happened to me.
Since that night, I don't crave candy or cookies; I'm just not interested. I'll indulge in a Hershey Kiss a couple of times a day and, when I baked cookies with my granddaughter, I gobbled about three of them. The enjoyment is there, but not the "I'd kill for a cooky" attitude. But that's only half the story!
I spent about five days in San Jose with my beautiful niece who loves to cook. Having such fun with her in the kitchen drew out the long-buried realization that I like to cook too! Even more fun was thinking up different meal ideas and recipes. So why in this world was I spending dollar upon dollar upon dollar at restaurants which served ridiculously huge-portion meals, not to mention all the unhealthy fast food? It was habit; I never gave a second thought to any other alternatives. And when it comes to dessert, which I consider refusal morally wrong, I'm happy with just a little of one, not three different kinds!Giving up soda pop for water? That's crazy! But that's what happened, save for one can a day with dinner, or if I'm out and about on the road. Does this mean Del Taco, In-N-Out, and Wienerschnitzel are out the window now? IHOP and El Paso are places of the past? No more Diet Coke or Sprite Zero? No, of course not. But something tells me I won't be darkening their doorsteps three or more times a week as I have been for years upon years. Looking back, I keep asking myself why I spent so much money for so much unhealthy food ... almost as puzzling a question as "Why don't I want it anymore?"